the last issue of Wolfcry we promised to provide you with a breakdown
of Paul Thorp’s Monmore Green record. To remind me of this,
a member of the Wolfcry mafiosi shouted to me last week as I was
leaving the Green, “Paul Thorp’s average.” I shouted
back, “I Know he is.”
It is said that Peter Ustinov can appear on stage for two hours
and make it seem like five minutes. Conversely, Paul Thorp has ridden
at Wolverhampton just ten times since 1991 but it seems more like
one hundred. I am perfectly prepared, however, to concede that I
may have missed the odd meeting or two. We all make mistakes, as
the dalek said climbing off the dustbin.
here it is:
20.4.92 Wolves v Bradford X 0 0 =0
3.6.92 Wolves v Bradford 0 0 2 0 =2
22.6.92 Fours Qualifier 0 1 =1
19.10.92 Wolves v Bradford 2 1 0 1 0 X =4
28.3.94 Wolves v Bradford 0 0 X 0 0 =0
27.6.94 Fours Qualifier 1 0 1 0 =2
24.4.95 Wolves v Hull 3 0 0 1 2 1 =7
3.6.96 Wolves v Hull 1 1 F 2 1 =5
15.7.96 England v Australia 2 0 0 0 =2
5.4.99 Wolves v Hull 0 0 1 =1
Bonus Points 3
Total Points 27
are two things which one notices (rather like when I watch Suzi
Perry). The first is that Paul actually won a race at the Green
once, which is a bit like seeing the Loch Ness Monster - you’ve
got more chance of seeing Nessie.....
second is Paul’s appearance for England in 1996. Ah, I hear
you cry, England were struggling for riders and Paul sneaked in
at reserve due to an injury crisis. Not quite. Paul actually appeared
at number one. You’d have thought that John Louis, that wonderfully
non-Nepotistic England manager, would have detected Paul’s
poor Monmore record. I actually felt a bit sorry for Paul that night.
On parade he was obviously a bit embarrassed as he was named as
number one. Actually, I thought he looked like he had all of the
enthusiasm of a man about to put his genitals into a fast- moving
vice, but I digress.
those who bought the last issue of Wolfcry know, my last statistical
piece was about how awful a record King’s Lynn had at Wolverhampton.
Et voila! The Knights turned us over for the first time since 1980.
With this kind of record, if Paul Thorp turns in a match-winning
performance next time we ride against the Vikings, you can all feel
free to produce this article, call me any name you like, and then
with anger and precision, nut me in the knees.
And vice versa.
“Kiss of Death” Sawbridge
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